Yeah right. This is the disclaimer posted front and center on the official website of Drank. A new gas station-retail beverage that is the antithesis of Red Bull: it removes your wings…..or at least that’s the claim. I first encountered this beverage last Friday night at a gas station, actually the mecca of all gas stations (Quik Tip) per Midwesterners. While oogling over the 32 varieties of carbonated beverages on tap for the price of 89 cents and assuring myself that’s why the Midwest has a BMI (Body Mass Index) conundrum, I was ,mid-thought, informed by the station attendant about a newer drink in stock……in case I wanted to fall asleep. Here it is.

Immediately, this skeptic (i.e. me) scanned through the ingredients to identify the proverbial Morpheus, and I found it. Melatonin was listed second to the bottom. Given its ordinal position in a plethora of ingredients, I highly doubt that there is enough dosage of this melatonin to even put a mouse to sleep, in addition to that most people are “non-responders” to melatonin. I’m betting (99%) this is a placebo effect. With the rare chance that there is an observational effect (i.e. someone does feel sleepy and “calmed and relaxed”) it’s dangerous, then for this drink to lie within the heap/row of surrounding energy drinks. Energy drinks are easily distinguishable from their lackluster 1950′s soda pop cans because of the ever-increasing retro, flashy designs presented on each, and this Drank is no exception  (except for the classic decal of Red Bull). It’s relatively facile, moreover, for the rare melatonin responder to haphazardly mistake this drink for an energy drink and subsequently fall asleep at the wheel…and that never ends well.

I was originally planning to conduct an experiment, testing the drink’s efficacy, myself, but I’m not enthused about contributing to this organization and yet another pop culture figment of pseudoscience.